one liners

in the quotation marks is the patient, my response is right after

"are you a doctor" - no i just dress up as one for halloween... "but todays not halloween" - oh, in that case yes, yes i am


"doctor how old are you" - 45 - " really?" - no



"doc my hurts when i move it this way" - im pretty sure you know how this ones gonna end



"this is my 14th pregnancy" wtf... do you use birthcontrol "no" -- why not--- " i dont like how condoms feel, i have sex with multiple guys so i cant use the iud, the patch hurts, the pill makes me fat" --- im pretty sure being pregnant makes people fat too., how bout no more sex? "are you kidding"



"i have 3 daughters that would be perfect for you" --- all three at the same time? "maybe" --- wtf

one liner

comment of the day...
i walk into a 40 yr old female patients room, after I introduce myself she says : if i knew you were going to be my doctor i would have brought my twin daughters.