steering accident

in a small town in denver called grand junction i was working in the ER one day when the nurse rushes in and says, "60 yr old guy in a steering accident, go see him asap"

steering accident, must have been a terrible car crash that the nurse is so worried, so i rush over and theres a guy sitting in the exam bed gushing blood from the back of his head. so i look it over , order a non contrast head CT to make sure theres no internal bleeding, while i wait for the tech to come by i take a quick history of the accident.

"Sir, were you wearing your seatbelt at the time of the accident?"
"what? no"
damn hicks, never wear the seatbelts, and then they wonder why the have head injuries... "Sir how fast were u going?"

" i dont know, probably a few miles per hour, what kind of question is that??"

"an important one, did you get hit head on? T-boned or from behind? and what kind of car were you in"

"son, what are you talking about, there was no car"

Holy shit this guy must have some major internal bleeding, he cant even remember he was in a car accident. i start flipping out and going through a full nuerological exam...

"sir what day is it, whats your full name and where are we now"
he answers all of those correctly... must have amnesia from the trauma .....

"sir, how did you hit the back of your head on the steering wheel?? were you turning around or something when you got hit? i cant really figure it out"

patient looks at me with a blank look on his face.... shit i need ot check and make sure his pupils arent dilated from all the internal bleeding.... and why arent the other doctors in here yet!!!!!!

finally the tech comes in to get him and takes him for the cat scan...

i start to present the story to the doctor in charge.
this is a 60 yr old male presenting with occipital lobe trauma post motor vehicle accident. patient has no recollection of the accident and complains of 10/10 pain. There is obvious hemorrhaging which will require staples, i sent the patient to get a head ct and ill finish getting the rest of his hx when he gets back. Otherwise patients alert oriented x3 and Cranial Nerves II-XII are grossly intact.

feeling pretty proud of myself for the presentation i look over at the doctor who has the biggest smile in the world.

"is there anything about the story that doesnt fit"

"yes" i say, " i dont get how the hell he hit the back of his head on the steering wheel, i mean hes got to have some severe cervical pain if his neck was rotated so much"


at this point the doctor cant stop laughing, "this isnt NY anymore city boy, he got hit by a steer, not a steering wheel"


i am like, oh, ok well that makes a lot more sense and i walk away still totally confused. i know this guy has to have more trauma than what hes saying. i figure a steer is some country thing so i quickly call katy. she will definitely know what a steer is.

frantically i call and ask her real quick... "what the FUCK is a steer?" she immediately starts giggling and tells me is a big cow with HUGE horns on it

She busts out laughing at me and tells me its an animal, not a car and that they guy must have some serious damage and to get back to work.

for those of us that doesnt know what a steer is, heres the pic