bag job

to some special people from a special city, when hyperventilating, please DO NOT put a plastic bag completely over your head, yes that is why you passed out - just a friendly reminder from your local physician.

drug seeker

drug seekers are the worst part of being an ER doctor, trying to figure out whose pain is real and who is just there for a drug holiday makes life miserable for us.

as a medical student, i loved working in the ER in colorado, so much so that id come in every night even though i didnt have too. that plus the fact that i was scared of the random wild life and wanted to be around people made me work more.

so a 50 yr old guy came in one day complaining of severe back pain. the doctor and i evaluated him and we decided that he could use 10 percocet to go home with, i thought nothing of it

the next day the same guy walked back into the ER with a different name and different complaint. this time he was having knee pains. since the doctors switch every night, a different one was seeing him. i walked into the room and instantly remembered him.

wtf? does this guy have a twin? the guy looked at me saw that he was fucked and walked out...


the third night in a row same guy walked into the ER with a different name, different story , the nurse was bringing him back to the exam room when i practically bounced into him

"Dont you fucken go home?? i know all the doctors cars, i know when a new ones here so i can get my shit, why are you here!!!"

without waiting for my response, he stormed out.

nurse looked at me and asked, "do you know him?"

"not really, but im pretty sure he just told me i have no life"

contacts

while working in an ER, patient walks in at around 4am complaining of having both his contacts roll to the back of his eyes. i wear contacts, i know it sucks to lose them, so i sat down with him for an hour trying to find them, literally did every test i could to locate them and just couldnt. all i could see was fingerprints and scratches on his eyes from him touching it so much.
so at about 530 i was finally like, listen ,do you even wear contacts? hes like you know what? no actually i dont....
i looked at him , put my head down and just walked away