Getting your heart racing

comment of the night - I walk into a 30 yr old patients room that the nurses are worried about her low heart rate. Heart rate jumps up from 50 to 87 in 2 seconds. "Well looks like I cured your low heart rate" -- "I'm sure you get all the ladies hearts racing" finally I can market myself - take 1 of Me with food daily

Bright Idea

1st pediatric patient of the day... decided he was hungry and took a bite out of the fluorescent light bulb, and when his mother tried to stop him, he took another bite and ran away from her. mom was upset not because he had glass in his belly, but that he would rather eat a light bulb than her cooking

stress management

As part of our 1st yr requirements, we are expected to attend a Stress Management meeting with 6 other interns, a hospital official and a psychiatrist so they can sit there and pick and prod at us and see if we're cracking under the stress.
well if you haven't figured out till now, work does not stress me at all, i love it and i love having fun with it, so obviously I needed to make this meeting interesting

well when it was my turn to share my feelings, they asked me how I cope with stress, I looked at the psychiatrist and said with a straight face

"well to be honest I think I deal with stress just fine, being at home alone is okay because I can talk to the imaginary people there and they talk back to me, sometimes we argue but its okay, we get along. As for how to deal with real stress, well I drink excessively and go out to strip clubs nightly, unfortunately the cost of it is pretty taxing on my salary so I would appreciate a raise to decrease my stress."

needless to say there was an awkward round of laughing...
lets see how long it takes for me to get a letter in my mail telling me i need counseling lol